another goodbye

This used to be my favorite chair. Doesn't it look comfortable? Unfortunately, I will never again be able to sit in this chair, having just found out that the strippers were giving lap dances in it!

Fuck.

Good bye, old friend

I had to say good bye to my favorite sweatshirt. I know he's on that big clothesline in the sky now. It's a better place for him. I want to say thanks for keeping me warm. Thanks for covering my hands. Thanks for being red. and did YOU know that three is my favorite number?





Good bye, red Old Navy sweatshirt.
We sure had some good times, didn't we?
I'll miss you.

For future reference:

Pole dancing can leave some nasty bruises on your shins.
It's dangerous. Beware.

I saw this online

"For the love of god Ronald,
look behind you!"

Hey baby, que paso?

I am a very bad Mexican. I can admit that. I don't speak Spanish, I don't like spicy food, I have never picked a single head of lettuce. I can tan well, I have that. Then there's the cutting thing, but I would swear that's the angry white girl in me coming out. The only thing that saves me is being able to cook the food. This is my one Mexican quality. One thing I have yet to master though is making round tortillas. Does anyone have a secret to making tortillas and having them actually turn out round? I cannot for the life of me make that happen. You want heart shaped ones? I can do that. You feel like eating a tortilla shaped like Texas, that I can handle. The Sears Tower? The Taj Mahal? California? Your foot? These are all shapes that will grace my placa. Round tortillas continue to elude me. It can be fun though, figuring out what they look like. It's like staring at the clouds and finding things. "This one looks like a dinosaur!" "Hey, mine looks like Jesus!" I like to think of them as my own little Rorschach tests. What do you see in this tortilla? So if you come over to my house for dinner, be careful. I may not only be feeding you. I may be delving into the deepest recesses of your psyche.

Ransom

Duckie-
I know where your phone is. If you want to see it again you will buy me two margaritas at Chili's tonight.
This isn't a joke.
-Lou

Just trying to be helpful

When you make coffee in the morning, it’s a good idea to make sure the coffee pot is plugged in before turning it on. It doesn’t work so well otherwise.

You know what's not funny?

When my son comes in with his hands cupped together and says "Mommy, this is dead".

This is funny

On Holiday!

Why does Miss Manners talk about herself in the third person? It annoys me. I know it's just a pseudonym, but still, if you adopt a pseudonym you should become that person, at least when you're writing. Dear Abby doesn't talk about herself in the third person. Ann Landers (rest in peace) didn't talk about herself in the third person. So why does Miss Manners walk around like she's so hot all "Miss Manners would never...." or "Miss Manners reminds you, Gentle Reader, that...." That's another thing, what's with the Gentle Reader crap? That's the lamest thing I've ever read. Seriously, there are maybe twenty percent of the people out there that you could actually describe as gentle. She needs to come up with something else. Like....Etiquettely Challenged Reader. Or maybe not. Whatever, like you could come up with something better.

This is new, at 7:30am the sun is now in a position to sear my retinas when I sit at the computer. Winter is coming, Gentle Readers. I hope I make it to spring.

S.A.S.E.

I find it very amusing that when I send money to the USPS for our postage meter at work that I have to put a stamp on the envelope. I feel like they should supply me with postage paid envelopes. I mean, they're the freaking postal service for crying out loud. That's what they do.

1:03am

and it's HNT.

For the record,
I did not force him to get those shoes.

He wanted shoes like me.
At least they're not blue, right?

perfect

I decided I wanted some beer tonight. I didn't have any in the house so I decided to get some when I went out to get pizza. Usually I wouldn't, I'd just say forget it and not drink but tonight I went for it. I think this was the best decision I've ever made. Really. In my life. I'm sitting outside with my laptop (thanks, RH, you rock!) drinking beer and listening to music. It's breezy and wonderful.
Life is good.

So.

What do you think of this email I just got?

yoda. that was a quote from yoda.

stupid.

Ok, so it was Yoda.

It could have been Gandhi.

I could roof a house.

For Sunday

The previous post was ineffective.

I am Mr. Grumpypants today.

Or I guess, Mrs. Grumpypants.

Whatever.

For Saturday

They sent this home from my son's pre-school yesterday.


Sing a Song of Sunshine
(sung to the tune of Sing a Song of Sixpence)

Sing a song of sunshine
Be happy every day
Sing a song of sunshine
You'll chase the clouds away
Be happy every moment
No matter what you do
Just sing and sing and sing and sing
And let the sun shine through!

Lost

Has anyone seen my camera? I can't find it.

I just want to say

Valdi, I saw you at the gas station this morning and I'm more than a little offended that you didn't say hello.

See, I can be cool, too.

Shickashiwa says:
Cindy gains 350 exp.
Level up!
Snarkiness + 15
Danger Kick Power + 10
Learned Move 'Bring the Fuck'

Pigeon Hole

I was thinking about what Kunstemaecker said in his last comment about my taste in music. I don't think my musical taste is that easy to categorize, really. I do tend to lean towards the "guy with a guitar" sound but I branch out at times. Yesterday on my way home from work I listened to underground hip hop for the first half then switched CDs to the Ramones. On my way to meet Duckie I listened to G Love then Erasure, and on the way to the Rufus Wainwright/Ben Folds concert I listened to some sweet mixes, which I can't WAIT to get. (hurry, Duckie)

Ben Folds kicked complete and total ass last night. He is so fucking cool I can't even describe it. I am a major fan for life now. And did you know Rufus Wainwright is gay?