Friday, September 29, 2006

I may even go as far as to triple dog dare you.

I want everyone to post a picture of themselves. I'm tired of these half faces, just lips, faces hidden by beer, pictures of necks, all that shit. I want real pictures, a cheesy smile for the camera and everything. And it has to be within the last year, I know some of you assholes will be all "hey, you said it had to be me, you didn't say anything about it not being me at age two."

I dare you.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

I snoop. So what.

Today the Fudgelover has a McDonalds cup in her cupholder. (Yeah, I'm going with her, I just don't think a man would have a heart in his license plate) I wonder what happened to the Propel Fitness Water?

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

It's one of those days.

I just noticed I'm wearing my underwear inside out.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

I like manly men.

I found these at the candy shop on Pier 39 a while ago. I couldn't resist them. It was a toss up between these and the ones that said "Just like dad!" but these won.

They make me think of Latigo Flint.

I think he'd go for these. After killing twelve men. With a revolver.

Monday, September 25, 2006

To the lady at the McDonald's Playland:

If you don't like the fact that I tied your kid's shoes then get your fat ass outside and do it yourself. The ground is wet, his socks are soaked, and he needs his (awesome) brown Converse high tops. So instead of glaring at me maybe you could step away from your super sized #3 and pay attention to him.


Love, Cindy

Friday, September 22, 2006

T.G.I.F., huh?

Well, the week is finally over. I had a very hectic week, but the only thing I have to do this weekend is lay around. And, you know, stuff.

I'm putting L.A. County by Lyle Lovett up for Amy. She made me think of it today, and now it's stuck in my head.

Have I ever told you how much I hate Jeremy?

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Wednesday driving...?

I've been a sucky blogger.

My dad is in town, I've been busy. Busy watching the O'Reilly Factor and the History Channel. Did you ever want to know how the concept of horsepower was developed? Well, I can't tell you because I wasn't paying attention but I bet my dad could explain it word for word, if you ask nicely. Oh, and use correct grammar, he's a stickler.

Great, now he's watching Benny Hill. I just don't get Brittish humor. I mean humour. I'm going to bed.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Sunday driving.

I noticed something today when I was out. People put the most retarded things on their cars. I saw a Buick with a license plate frame that had fake bullet holes all the way around it. Why would someone put that on their car? What kind of person sees that in the Harriet Carter catalog (I'm guessing) and says "holy cow, this is so cool! I'm totally getting one"? Another license plate frame had dog heads in rainbow colors across the bottom. Kind of like this one, only dog heads instead of paws. That's a total two-for-one deal there. You're like "I'm gay and proud" but you're also telling people "and I really like my dog", right? (topic change) When I did the search for this plate I came across this gay pride website that has pet products. I think it's kind of mean to put gay pride things on your pet because really, what if he's not gay? Don't you think he might be kind of embarrassed to go to the dog park with a rainbow leash or a rainbow tag? Do you think the other dogs hit on him because they think he's gay? I feel sorry for those dogs. I bet they never get any ass. Or uh, maybe they do. Oops.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Another useless tidbit.

Peeked into Fudge Lover's car again. Saw a couple bananas and some Propel fitness water. The travel mug was gone, as was the Ikea tupperware. I think Fudge Lover may be trying to lose the fudge chub. I still have no idea what gender the Fudge Lover is, but I know that he/she works out. Or does aerobics. Or lifts weights. Or plays softball. Or simply likes Propel water and is thirsty for no reason other than liquid has not touched his/her lips in some time.

God damn it all, I love Mitch Hedberg.

P.S. Fudge chub sounds funny to me.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

What's up with people who don't think I'm funny?
Seriously, I don't get it.

Come on and lie to me.

I lie to myself about coffee. How sad is that? I know I make my coffee too strong, I have a problem. There, I said it. I have a caffeine problem.

So I tell myself I'm only going to use three scoops this time.
Just three scoops.

But I make two of those scoops big, huge, heaping scoops.

But still, I only used three.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Am I right?

Nothing like Back to School Night to make you feel inadequate.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

I'm so altruistic.

A woman apparently collapsed on the sidewalk outside. The firemen and EMT's came to help her and as they were loading her into the ambulance I'm looking for my friend, because he drives an ambulance in this city.

Is that wrong? Yeah. I know.

But I do wonder why the firemen drove their truck. The firehouse is like twelve feet away from where she fell. The end of the fire truck was probably blocking the driveway to the fire station. Why didn't they just run on over? I wonder.

Monday, September 11, 2006

I think the sensei at the Cobra Kai dojo gave his students crank.

This made me laugh.

Is it just me or does it look like Mr. Miyagi is molesting Daniel? Kind of gives a new perspective to the whole "wax on, wax off" thing, huh?

Sunday, September 10, 2006


Have you guys watched that show Weeds on Showtime? It's about a suburban mom who sells pot to support her family since her husband died. They just started the second season, but I'm still working on the first season on DVD right now. It's pretty good, you should check it out. It has good music, too; Blue Eyed Son, Sufjan Stevens, The Mountain Goats. They're doing this cool thing with this season, they get a different artist to sing the theme song each week. Elvis Costello, Death Cab for Cutie, etc. Which is great because the woman who sang the song for the first season has a really annoying voice. Really annoying.

The brother in law is the best, he has the funniest conversations. He had this whole discussion about the "taint" which made me think of YoJ, naturally.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Billboards and words.

I know you've all seen the Snickers ads like Peanutopolis and Hungerectomy. Some are cool, some are lame. Nougatocity is lame. Not a lot of words can pull off the -ocity at the end. Travelocity can get away with it, I guess because of the L. But after a T? No. No, Snickers, no.
Substantialiscious is my favorite. I like the way it sounds. I love words that end in -scious though, like:

extremely willful; obstinate; stubborn.

I especially love the ones that end in -iscious, like:

1. causing insidious harm or ruin; ruinous; injurious; hurtful
2. deadly; fatal: a pernicious disease.
3. Obsolete. evil; wicked.

and my all time favorite:

1. arousing or expressive of sexual desire; lustful; lecherous.

But speaking of the Word of the Day, what the fuck is up with today's word:

small beer \small beer\, noun:

1. Weak beer.
2. Insignificant matters; something of little importance.
3. Unimportant; trivial.

They even put the pronunciation on there? Now, that's lame.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Same to you, pal.

You know that "Blog This!" button at the top of this window? I don't like it. It sounds like an insult. Like if someone said to you "I'm going to eat the last piece of pie" and you replied "yeah? well, eat this!" and grabbed your dick or something. That's how I feel about it anyway.

And on a side note, when I eat these:

I'm not hungry for a long, long time.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006


Remember that Tom and Jerry episode when they're at a construction site and Jerry starts walking around in a glove and he shakes Tom's hand and then slams him down onto the ground?

That's funny.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

See, I do know how to quit you.

I quit the Peevery because I really just can't keep up with two blogs anymore. (read: lazy) I can't even keep my own up anymore, as you can see. So, just a warning, you might see more bitching over here from now on. Like this:

What's with the stupid Sleeptrain Mattress Center? They sponsor EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD. My morning radio show, all shows on TV, even the traffic report is sponsored by Sleeptrain Mattress Center. Are they going to sponsor this blog next? I sure hope so. Because as you all know, they are your ticket to a better night's sleep.

I'm going to lunch. See ya.

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