Friday, January 28, 2005

I'm just like everyone else.

I'm taking a break from blogging. I just can't do it anymore. I used up all my brainpower and creativity on the squirrel post.
Aw, who am I kidding. I can't leave this thing called my blog! It's just that my dad is in town for the next few days, so I won't be posting. I didn't want anyone to worry. Not that you's actually more likely you'd be annoyed for lack of posting. Am I right?
Anyway, I should be back Tuesday-ish. Then off again the following week........but we'll talk about that later.
I shall leave you with best wishes for a wonderful weekend and the Word of the Day:

bete noire \bet-NWAHR\, noun:
Something or someone particularly detested or avoided; a bugbear.

I like that they used the word "bugbear" in the definition. I've never heard it before but it's a cool word, don't you think? I'm going to look it up........

A bugaboo.
A fearsome imaginary creature, especially one evoked to frighten children.


Thursday, January 27, 2005

A Squirrel Story: Continued

When we last saw our furry friends they were living it up playing poker, drinking beer, flying around town with SuperKen. Alas, all good things must come to an end. SuperKen had to return to Poland to deal with a ring of nut thieves, and the girls were left on their own again. The girls being girls, needed more entertainment. They decided to head to the city and see what life in Squirreltropolis was like.

They had no idea how much fun the city could be for three young squirrels such as themselves! Unfortunately, city life took a toll, and the girls soon found their lives spiraling out of control.
They met a city squirrel names El Sid. El Sid was funny, she had class, she led an exciting life that the girls envied. But Sid had a darker side that the girls would soon learn about.

J was the first to succomb to Sid's evil ways.

She soon gave in to peer pressure and started smoking. She gave up her forest life completely and became addicted to human attention.

She would do anything for the humans, degrading herself by dancing while they played the drums and laughed.

Cindy, well....Cindy just kept hitting the bottle. She became a little squirrel alcoholic. 10am? Who cares!

Break out the beer, let's party!

EJ, oh EJ's story was the saddest one of all. Sid convinced her to pose for a popular squirrel magazine.

She loved the attention, but it soon led her down a different path. Sid told her "It's just one movie, you can decide how far you want to go. Don't you want to hang out with the cool squirrels?"

She ended up doing a string of porn movies. The latest one involving a rape scene by a cable squirrel. She wanted to stop, but didn't know how.

Thankfully, SuperKen heard of the girls' troubles. He flew over from Poland just as fast as his flannel cape would take him.

"Don't worry, girls! SuperKen is here to save you!"
SuperKen was able to break Sid's hold on the girls.

He showed them compassion and concern, and made them feel safe again.

He also used a little tough love, telling them the story of his friend who started down the same path and ended up as roadkill.

He showed the girls the error of their ways. They soon turned their lives around, and became productive members of society once more.

J started writing children's stories, and became the most popular author in the forest.

EJ started training in gymnastics and ended up winning the gold medal in the Olympics.

Cindy started a support group in the forest. S.A.D.D. (Squirrels Against Drunk Driving) She decided to quit drinking and dedicated her life to her new cause.

She even switched from regular to diet cola.

Once again, SuperKen saved the day. Thank you, Ken.

We salute you.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Eddie Van Halen never went sailin'

I wasn't able to get online all day today. Ok, we're talking about 4 hours but still! It seemed like much longer. I didn't look at any blogs while I was at work, was only able to get on MSN for about a half hour, and how many meaningful conversations can you have in a half hour? I was barely able to check my freaking email! Stupid, janky ass internet connection.
Someone paged a person named Lupe over the intercom at the hospital today. Now, I'm pretty white, but this lady pronounced her name Loopy. Even I wouldn't do that.
I saw a licence plate that said I♥VICKY. I wonder if he still ♥s Vicky after she made him get that licence plate? I also saw one that said WLVRMOM. I was thinking Wolverine or something, then realized it said we love our mom. What's with all these licence plates making me want to vomit?
I was going down my links to check on everyone's day, and noticed I was doing my little happy wiggle dance (usually reserved for good food) when I realized it was Wednesday. This is exciting why, ladies and gentlemen? Hairshirt Horoscopes of course! It's a mind scramble.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005


Is $91.64 too much to pay for cable?

Monday, January 24, 2005

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

I decided to share the destruction with you! This is the current state of my house. Sure makes cleaning out a couple closets sound like a day at the beach, huh? The ceiling in the entryway has been removed and raised about a foot. It really opens it up, it wasn't very welcoming before. It should look nice, you know, once there's a ceiling there.

Where is my ceiling?

Holes all over the place. The squares that have been cut in the wall did not come with the place. This should look pretty good too, with columns instead of 2 x 4's. Although the 2 x 4's really give it that flair, don't you think? 16 pieces of flair? No?

In other news:
I have updated my links list. I think I have included all of my regulars. If I missed anyone, and you'd like to be included, please let me know. Don't suffer in silence! (wink wink) I would like to direct your attention to the coolness that is my link to Cat. I'm signing autographs at noon, at the Borders in Oakridge. I went all out with the links. I am a linking machine. I went crazy with the linkage! (also: crazy with the cheese whiz, but please don't tell my mom)


I took a picture of the book we are using as a guide. To answer Quyen's question, this is what it will (hopefully) look like when finished. We won't be using blue though, it will be a reddish-orangy color. Probably. Maybe. I'm not really sure yet. I'm really liking that blue.....

Sunday, January 23, 2005

But where did it all come from?

I want to know who broke into my house and put a bunch of crap in my closets. Seriously, this can't be all mine. How on earth did I accumulate so much stuff? How many baskets do I need? How long am I required to hold onto gifts that I don't like and will never use? Should I really save all this baby gear? I need another whole room just to hold my junk. This is brought to my attention because I had to clear out one of the closets in the hallway for some remodeling work. I wish the attic crawlspace access was somewhere else, but I had to empty the entire closet, and wow do I have a lot of useless junk. Useless and impossible to part with, for some reason. So I've been clearing space today in other closets. More closets filled with useless junk. Well, some of the stuff was or will be useful, just not at this particular point in my life. Or is that the myth we tell ourselves as an excuse to hold onto it all?

Friday, January 21, 2005

I just burned a CD for my sister. I hope she doesn't think I'm stalking her.

Jesus Christ.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Spoiler alert

I just got back from seeing Racing Stripes.
The zebra wins. Big surprise.

Actually, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I was prepared to hate it, to be bored out of my mind, I made sure there were no sharp objects in my bag lest my wrists be too tempting. I was pleasantly surprised. I found myself rooting for the damn zebra to win. I laughed quite a few times, and cried a little bit at the end. Yes, I am a major sucker for the happy endings. Plus there were so many voices I recognized, yet had a hard time placing. I had to look them up, because I couldn't figure them all out. There were quite a number of famous people voicing these animals. And I love the little girl who rides Stripes. She was in Remember the Titans, she played the coach's daughter, that little blond girl. She's so cute. Here is a list of the people in the movie for you.

Frankie Muniz .... Stripes
Mandy Moore .... Sandy
Michael Clarke Duncan .... Clydesdale
Jeff Foxworthy .... Reggie
Joshua Jackson .... Trenton's Pride
Snoop Dogg .... Lightning
Joe Pantoliano .... Goose
Michael Rosenbaum .... Ruffshodd
Steve Harvey .... Buzz
David Spade .... Scuzz
Fred Dalton Thompson .... Sir Trenton
Dustin Hoffman .... Tucker
Whoopi Goldberg .... Franny

So, all in all, I enjoyed myself. I wouldn't say I highly recommend going to see this movie, but if you have to take a kid to see something, you probably won't hate it. That's about the highest rating I can give this movie. You won't hate it.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

I'm a good parent. Really, I am.....

I love Noggin's new commercials. They're designed to make parents feel comfortable about sitting their kids in front of the TV all day. Do parents really fall for this? Are there really moms out there who think that Noggin really is like preschool on TV? I like educational programming, and definitely prefer these shows over SpongeBob for Caden. Not for myself, though, I like the dumb shows best. I also know that there are going to be times when yes, you do turn on the TV to entertain your child. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as you do understand that this does not qualify as preschool. There is one commercial that actually shows a mother telling her daughter that it's time for preschool, then turns on the TV for her. Who believes this crap? The irony of this situation lies within the fact that as I write this, my kid is currently sitting in front of the TV. My excuses:

1. He's very sick, so we can't go out and he needs to stay calm and horizontal anyway.
2. We've already played with puzzles and trains for hours today, it's ok to veg out for a bit.
3. I'm just a terrible, selfish mother.

At least I know that it's not a good thing to have him watch TV, and I don't try to fool myself into believing it. I own my guilt. But uh, I better go.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Sunday Sunny Sunday

Today was a great day!

1. My car stereo has a reset button! Imagine that. All I had to do was push a button. Amazing. I had to reprogram all my stations, but I can live with that.

2. I bought Napoleon Dynamite. Best freaking movie ever. I also bought Santana's greatest hits and Greenday's Dookie album. Can we say Best Buy gift card?

3. I bought a pair of Vans. I believe this is the first pair of Vans I've ever owned. 31 pairs and counting.

4. The sun is out and I feel fine.

Friday, January 14, 2005

Friday is A-OK.

My car stereo decided to stop working this morning. It may be just a blown fuse, or maybe it got too cold last night....
Whatever it is, it sucks to drive 45 minutes alone with no music. I had the song Roots Radicals by Rancid stuck in my head the whole way to work because of the part where he says "on my stereo....". Which is interesting because that's the CD I currently have in my CD player. Completely useless to me, of course. I put it on yesterday for Caden. He's becoming quite the little punk rocker. He says American Idiot is his favorite song, he plays the air guitar and shakes his little booty. I've decided I'm a punk rocker too. I think listening to Greenday, Rancid, the Ramones, and Social Distortion qualifies me as a punk rocker, don't you? Plus, I've seen the Ramones in concert, that's pretty hardcore. Maybe I'll just be a punk rocker for Halloween this year.

Well the kids are all hopped up and ready to go
They're ready to go now
They've got their surfboards
And they're going to the discotheque a go go
But she just couldn't stay
She had to break away
Well New York City really has it all
Oh yeah, oh yeah

Cindy is a punk rocker
Cindy is a punk rocker
Cindy is a punk rocker now
She's a punk punk, a punk rocker
Punk punk, a punk rocker
Punk punk, a punk rocker

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Ken's positive for the day

EJ was bored. She was very, very bored. "I wish I had an exciting friend to hang out with" she thought. She was getting very lonely in her tree.

Just then, J poked her head around the corner. "Hey, EJ! What's shaking?" she said. EJ told J she was bored, and couldn't think of a thing to do.

J showed off her flying skills, trying to impress EJ. It was fun for a while, but EJ knew she was really just jumping from tree to tree, and it wasn't technically flying. EJ decided she was hungry, and went off to find something to eat.

"Hey, J! Look what I found. I bet we can get a nice sugar high going with this." So EJ and J ate an entire sugar packet then ran around looking for some more fun.

They found Cindy at the park, hitting the beer again. "Cindy", they said "Can we have some?" Cindy passed the straw and they all got pretty buzzed off the Budweiser. Now it was time for some real fun. They looked around for someone else to play with.

They saw Ken hanging around, playing on the swings. They offered him some beer and asked if he'd be interested in a game.

So the four of them sat down and played poker and drank more beer. Ken kept trying to turn it into strip poker, but the squirrels weren't having it. Ken threw down his cards and stood up. "Now you're in for a treat!" he said.

"I'm not really Ken the Squirrel" he said, unzipping his squirrel costume. "I am Super Squirrel, defender of the forest." Needless to say, the squirrels were quite impressed. "I always knew there was something special about that guy" said J. Super Squirrel showed off his bulging muscles and his flannel cape. They took turns flying around the forest with Ken. And EJ was never bored again.

The End

Tuesday, January 11, 2005


I called Fed-Ex to schedule a pick-up today. I know, nobody actually calls anymore, and I usually schedule them online but I had major time constraints, and wanted to be absolutely sure they would be there before 3:30. So I do the whole entering the account number and all that, but apparently screwed with the system anough that they transferred me to a live person, which was great since that's what I wanted. So the guy gets on the phone, and he already knows who I am because I had entered my account number. I was quite confused when he asked me "Is this Forever Night?" I'm like, it's the credit union. He says "Right, the credit union. So is this Forever Night?" I'm thinking, is there a store around here called Forever Night? So I say, this is Cindy with the credit union. He gets a little impatient with me and asks again, is this Forever Night? I start wondering if he's getting all philosophical on me, forever night....are you depressed, guy? I start preparing my "god works in mysterious ways" speech when it hits me, he's asking me if it's for over night. Well what the fuck, you're Fed Ex right? Isn't it all over night? Isn't that what you do? Isn't that why I called you? Stupid.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

I thought this was cute

Since I never make New Years resolutions, I thought this was a great idea for me. So here is my brand new 2005 special for Cindy resolution:

In the year 2005 I resolve to:

Grow some new friends.

Get your resolution here

He gets it from me

One of my "things" is dancing while I eat. If I'm eating something I like a lot I do this little wiggle-dance in my chair. I don't know why or how I started doing this but I've been doing it for years. I didn't even realize I was doing it until it was pointed out to me by a friend. So if you ever cook me dinner you'll know if I really like it or not by how active I am in my chair. Anyway, my point is I recently noticed Caden does the same thing. He does the exact same wiggle-dance as I do. I have to assume he has seen me do it enough times that he thinks this is normal? Or maybe it's just part of his genetic make-up, the dancing gene. Dancing Gene, wasn't that a song by Abba? I wonder if others do this. I would like to go out to dinner with them, can you imagine a group of people at a table all wiggling in their chairs? How funny would that look. Does anyone else out there express their food pleasure through dance?

Friday, January 07, 2005

Mrs. Gavin Newsom

Did you hear? Gavin Newsom is getting a divorce. I think I'll be spending more time in San Francisco. I may have to compete with the gay men for the privilege of being Gavin's #1 Stalker, but I'm willing to go the extra mile. I believe I can make him love me. All I need is a length of rope, a deserted hotel, and at least a week alone with him. He'll love me. Or else.

Hmmmm.......I feel like I've seen that girl before..........maybe she's following me?

Word of the Day

Word of the Day for Thursday January 6, 2005

lubricious \loo-BRISH-us\, adjective:

1. Lustful; lewd.
2. Stimulating or appealing to sexual desire or imagination.
3. Having a slippery or smooth quality.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Dinner and a......

I go out for dinner with Duckie tonight. Two margaritas later, I'm giving him my Donavon Frankenreiter CD! What the hell, if I had three margaritas what would I be giving him, my virginity?

I am a failure as an artist

I could never be an artist. While it's true that I take more pictures when I'm depressed, taking pictures makes me happy. Then I stop taking pictures. So taking pictures actually works against me! What's a girl to do? Plus, can an artist be happy? Don't all artists have to have the tortured soul thing going on? Dark and brooding? Wait, am I talking about artists or Angel.......?

One tree

Two trees

Many trees

Gray skies (view out the window at work)

Sky is clearing

We're getting closer

Unfortunately, this is where the story ends. The sky does not clear, the sun does not come out. Stupid winter. I need the sun and a beer out of a cooler. Then I'll never take pictures again.

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Latest (and last) edition of the CL Times

I've decided to skip the suggestions part and finish up the questions in one post. My attention span has run out, and I want to finish and move on. I have a post about a ghost. The entire thing rhymes too! Oh, just kidding. This is my first post of 2005. Cool.

Punk Ass Biker asked:
1. Do you believe people have souls? Why?
>I'm very conflicted on this one. Being athiest, I'm not supposed to believe in a soul. I do however, believe there is something more to a person than tissue and bones. Call it energy, call it a life force, call it a soul. Whatever it is, I believe it's unique to each person and has the capacity to linger after the body is dead.
2. If you could do anything for a living what would it be?
>Can you make a living laying beside a pool with a beer in your hand?

Wait a minute, where's my beer?
(This is NOT me)
3. Why do we dream?
>To live out all the fantastic, crazy, spontaneous ideas we would never get to do in real life.

Joel asked:
1) What is your name?
>Cynthia, Cindy, Cindy-Lou, Lou, The Lou, Cinny, Babe, Sista Sledge, Cin, and Mommy.
2) What is your favorite color?
3) If you were next to a stinky person on an airplane, would you spray deodorant on them?
>I've been in this situation. Luckily I was saved by engine failure and an emergency landing in Nashville, TN.

Joe asked:
1) Have you ever made vegetarian tamales?
>I don't even understand what you're saying right now.
2) What kind of beer do you drink?
>Coors Light and Tacate.
3) If you could bitch-slap anybody in the world with impunity, who would you bitch-slap?
>Right now, Dave Barry for ending his column in the Sunday paper. I hope you feel up to the job, Joe. You have a void to fill in my life now.

Ben asked:
1. any super power, which one would you have?
>How many times have you wished your arm could reach just a little bit further?

My hand is fascinatingly large
2. if there's a zombie invasion, what's the first thing you're going to do?
>Seriously regret never taking self-defense classes.
3. seriously, what is up with my pants?
>We all wish we knew the answer to that question, Ben. I fall asleep every night wondering what is up in your pants.

Nina asked:
Q1: If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
>My inability to make a decision.
Q2: Just how many pairs of shoes do you own?

I swear I wear them all.
I just counted, there's only 30 pairs. That's not very much, right?
Q3: If you could eat dinner with anyone who would it be and why?
>Eminem. I think that guy is probably funny as hell. Plus, I'd love to see him get irritated with the waiters.

Summer asked:
What is the one thing you dislike the most about yourself?
>I have very little backbone.
What is the one thing you like the most about yourself?
>I have the ability to shrug things off and not let them bother me.
Inside jokes: love them or hate them?
>I hate them. Maybe hate is too strong of a word, I dislike them. Immensely.

Mel asked:
B1. How can I get rid of my puffy eyes and the dark circles that accompany them?
>Sorry, Mel. You're just going to have to live with them. And look forward to crows feet.
B2. Why do I want to bite baby's feet?

Because they're so fucking cute. I mean, look at them. You want to just bite that little toe right off, destroying the very thing you found so fucking cute.
B3. Is there really a light at the end of the tunnel?
>No. No there is not.

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