You know that song Jump in the Line by Harry Belafonte? Sure, you know the one, they played it at the end of Beetlejuice? Yeah, that one.
So, am I the only one who hears the line:
Senora's dance has no title
You jump in the saddle, hold onto the bridle
and thinks that sounds kind of dirty?
And yeah, the little hand motion Winona does during that part doesn't help at all.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
I'm not dead, Cat!
I was driving behind some Honda today; the stupid chick was going like four miles an hour!
I say "Come on, fuckface, let's go!"
Then she goes to turn on the same street I was going to turn on.
I say "Oh great, because that's what I wanted to do, follow your slow ass all the way down Cox."
And then I giggled.
Because.
You know.
Cox.
I say "Come on, fuckface, let's go!"
Then she goes to turn on the same street I was going to turn on.
I say "Oh great, because that's what I wanted to do, follow your slow ass all the way down Cox."
And then I giggled.
Because.
You know.
Cox.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
It's funny, because, um...
Sitting with my dad and his cousin and her husband in the back yard after dinner in Idaho:
My dad tells a story about this one time he was at his neighbor's house and there was a commercial for Viagra or Levitra or some damn thing, and the commercial gets to that part where it says "if you have an erection lasting more than four hours contact your doctor."
(side note: hearing your dad say "erection" is weird)
So the neighbor turns to his wife and says "heck, if I had a four hour erection I'd call your sister!"
Laughter ensues.
Then I start giggling to myself and say "If you have an erection lasting more than four hours, get her some lessons."
But nobody laughs. Except me.
My dad tells a story about this one time he was at his neighbor's house and there was a commercial for Viagra or Levitra or some damn thing, and the commercial gets to that part where it says "if you have an erection lasting more than four hours contact your doctor."
(side note: hearing your dad say "erection" is weird)
So the neighbor turns to his wife and says "heck, if I had a four hour erection I'd call your sister!"
Laughter ensues.
Then I start giggling to myself and say "If you have an erection lasting more than four hours, get her some lessons."
But nobody laughs. Except me.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
The Blog
There is a building at the corner of Hamilton and Leigh and it's called...get this...The Hamilton-Leigh Building. Really? They couldn't come up with anything better than that?
I suppose Building With Walls, Windows, and Doors would have been more obvious. Or The Big Building. I want to meet the guys who named that place. They must have huge imaginations.
"What should we name the new building?"
"Well, where is it?"
"It's at the corner of Hamilton Avenue and Leigh Avenue, sir."
"How about the Hamilton-Leigh Building?"
"Brilliant!"
"Uh, sir? What about the one at the corner of Olive Road and Dick Street?"
I suppose Building With Walls, Windows, and Doors would have been more obvious. Or The Big Building. I want to meet the guys who named that place. They must have huge imaginations.
"What should we name the new building?"
"Well, where is it?"
"It's at the corner of Hamilton Avenue and Leigh Avenue, sir."
"How about the Hamilton-Leigh Building?"
"Brilliant!"
"Uh, sir? What about the one at the corner of Olive Road and Dick Street?"
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Self entertainment.
Sometimes I think I should have a t-shirt made that says
I'm so funny
because I am. I really just am.
I'm so funny
because I am. I really just am.
Friday, August 03, 2007
"I did something illegal."
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