Thursday, May 31, 2007


I now have six pillows on my bed. Eight if you count the throw pillows.

I'm starting to think that's too many pillows.

Maybe that's why my cat didn't get up with me this morning. My bed is just too comfy.

God damn, I hate the word comfy.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

True or False:

I lost my virginity to my 10th grade geometry teacher.

Monday, May 28, 2007

True or False:

Jeremy is so in love with me.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

True or False:

I feel guilty if I drive over 75 mph.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

True or False:

I stayed sober until I was 20.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007


Sometimes I think things like:

What if someone breaks into my house and kills me in my sleep?

And sometimes I think things like:

What if my hair dryer stops working before I'm finished drying my hair?

But you have to look on the bright side of things. Like "being killed in my sleep is better than being raped and beaten first" or "hey, I've always wanted to try my hair curly!"

Wednesday, May 09, 2007


1. Why does there have to be an odd number of Smarties in each package? It seriously annoys me.

(and I'm talking about real Smarties, not those fucked up chocolate things.)

2. Isn't it funny how that song Bad Day by Daniel Powter is so happy and peppy that it makes me smile when I sing it?

Monday, May 07, 2007

Something I saw today.

Wouldn't you laugh all the time if you lived on Nutwood Street?

I would.

Friday, May 04, 2007

Luke at me. (wink wink)

Sometimes when I'm notarizing something I get this whole superiority complex. It's because of that part at the end that says "Witness my hand and official seal."

I'm like, yeah that's right. Witness it, bitches.

Thursday, May 03, 2007


You know when you heat up your lunch in the microwave and you put a paper towel over it in case it explodes all over the place?

Do you use that paper towel when you eat?

I always feel like it's infused with radiation, so I throw it away. I'm curious to know if others have the same irrational ideas.

Come on, Scooter. Enlighten me.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

I forgot to tell you something.

Even if you know how useless you are without it.

Even if you know you won't have the patience to do it in the morning.

Even if you're OCD enough to use your coffee pot's timer on the weekends.

Even if.

Don't grind coffee before bed when you've been drinking.

You'll just make a mess.

Trust me on this.

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