One thing about me is,

I fucking hate crooked bumper stickers.
Bugs the shit out of me.

Should have learned your lesson after the first two.

I'm very judgemental when it comes to strangers. Luckily, I'm not that way with my friends. My friends can be alcoholics, beat their dog, and/or cheat on their spouses and I won't bat an eye. But I see a grown man in a 49ers jacket riding a bike down the street and I automatically think he lost his license for getting too many DUIs.

Once.

Once I stole a chair from Taco Bell.

Another post about my cat?

I sleep on the left side of the bed. So when the entire right side of the bed is open, why does my cat insist upon squeezing her fat body into the three inches between me and the left edge of the bed? And I can't pick her up and move her because she'll bite me (which I swear she does in my sleep anyway) so I end up scooting over and giving her the space she wants even though I'm supposed to be higher up on the food chain.

My cat is never going to die.