Mercy killing

I'm on my way home from the mall the other day and I see this on the car in front of me:

BLCURAH

(I'll give you a second to try to figure it out)

Yes, this was on the back of a black Acura. I felt like I was being mocked. My first instinct was to jam my foot into the accelerator, smash into the back of the car, throw it in reverse, smash into it again, over and over until the license plate was crushed beyond recognition. It would so be worth totalling my car to kill it. And the cop showing up at the scene would probably let me off because he/she too would feel mocked, maybe even make the other guy pay for the damage. Especially since some other Californian with bad taste got to BLACURA first and this poor asshole had to use an "H" on the end, which makes it even more pathetic.

It was a good plan except for one thing. I forgot about the plate on the front of the car.
Crap.

I need a lobotomy now

I had a dream about Eva Longoria last night. It was kind of a dirty dream. I'm very disturbed by this and I don't think I can watch Desperate Housewives ever again.

I am not a lesbian!

Take it back

For a limited time only, the Peevery is going old school.
Apparently the tech guys at Movable Type do not respond to Michelle's threats of bodily harm. Maybe they have a zero tolerance policy, like not negotiating with terrorists or something.
Anyway, to prevent several bloggers from spontaneously exploding from pent up peeves, we're re-opening the old Peevishness and Botheration.

I'll keep you updated.

There's more...

I started the Elvis glasses blog.
I haven't put them all up yet, but at least it's started.

Ladies and gentlemen:

The Elvis Glasses Project

I added a link on my sidebar, it will be updated as the pictures come in.
(or as I get off my ass to put them up)

Dude

I just watched a pot and it totally boiled.

Next thing you know I'll be teaching an old dog new tricks.

That's right, I'm a fucking revolutionary.
Follow me into the light.

Houston, we have a problem

Just an FYI, the Peevery is having some technical issues right now. This should be resolved soon, if only because the tech support crew is probably already sick of hearing Michelle swear like a sailor.

Cindy The Lou

I want to cancel my AOL account. They're charging me $25.90 a month now. $300 a year to use AOL? No thanks. That's too rich for my blood.
Isn't that a weird phrase?
Anyway, I think I'll start using my gmail account that's been sitting unused for months. I like free stuff.

I've just been too lazy to switch until now. How the hell do you get your whole address book over there?
What a pain in the ass.
It might very well be worth the money to just stay and not have to deal with it.

Oh shit.
I don't like the way that sounds.

I'm switching.

Nightlights

Do you know that when I stand next to a bed I'm worried that someone's going to reach out and grab my ankle? And I still leap on and off the bed when the light's off. When I reach into a dark room to switch on the light I'm convinced something is going to grab my hand and pull me into the room before I get the light on. If the power goes out at night you very well may find me curled up in the corner when the lights come back on. And if I'm walking across a dark room I need you to talk me to the bed. I start to feel panicked.

I have no idea why this is.

What's this?

Oh, do I have a blog or something?
Am I supposed to like, write on it?
Update every so often, something like that?

Oh yeah. I forgot all about that.

Lunch and nothing to talk about

Stupid KFC gave me a spork. How am I supposed to eat a salad with a spork? I guess that's what I get for trying to eat a little healthier. Maybe that's their plan, make it so annoying to eat your salad that you end up throwing it away.

Haha, I showed them.


(I know. Lame. But I have nothing to say today)

(shut up, Ty)

Rated PG-13

Remember on Monday when I said I just ate the biggest banana ever? I was serious, look at the size of this banana. I bought three, three of the hugest bananas I've ever seen.








Look how big it is compared to these apples.

Is that not the biggest banana you've ever seen?

Settle this.

Tell me, smart people, is this

<3

supposed to be a heart or boobs?

Always bet on black. Or red. Always bet on either black or red.

I'm sorry for leaving you, my pretties. I had to make an impromptu trip to Vegas. I know, poor me, right? Ha, yeah, poor me NOW since I lost all my money. I just don't know when to walk away. Actually, that's not true. I know exactly when to walk away. I just don't do it. I had a lot of fun losing all that money though. It's worth it. Right? I also left my pants in the hotel room. I'm more upset about losing my Old Navy khakis than I am about losing $500.

I came up with some good phrases though, inspired by the losing of my pants.

"I lost my pants in Las Vegas"

"What you wear to Vegas stays in Vegas"

"CSI: Las Vegas couldn't find my pants"

"Leaving (my pants in) Las Vegas"

Ok, I admit those are lame. But seriously, it's pretty amusing to think that I actually lost my pants in Las Vegas. And not even in a good way.

I'm a little evil

My phone rings this morning at 9am and I see TT's # on the caller ID.
My first thought?

"Why would Terra be calling me at 9am? Maybe she needs me to pick her up from jail."

I'm a terrible friend.

Although, I would have picked her up if she needed me to. I would have laughed and pointed, but I would have done it. I like to have dirt on my friends.

Apparently she was sitting on her phone or something, because she didn't talk and I think I heard the radio in the background.

Or maybe it was her new cell mate.

Lunchbox

I had a sandwich from Erik's Deli Cafe for lunch today. It was called the R.E.O. Speedwagon. So, guess what I've had stuck in my head all day.

Yeah.

I just got back from having pizza. Sure hope the same thing doesn't happen. I mean, I like the song That's Amore and all, but I sure don't want to be singing it all night.