It's even worse than I thought.

I bought beer. I planned on drinking beer. I feel I should drink beer seeing as I'm not going to work tomorrow. But my heart just isn't in it.

So I'm sober.

How much confidence do YOU have in your deodorant?

When you're sitting in close quarters with other people, such as an airplane, or, say, jury duty, it's very rude to lean back with your arms over your head. I don't care if you smell like a fresh spring breeze, I still don't want your fucking armpit in my face.

It's that time of the month again.

Apparently, this blog has become nothing more than me rambling about movies, but hey, some might say that's an improvement.

This time I have a question about Teen Wolf. Now, I don't mean to be critical because we all love that movie. But I thought werewolves were only werewolves during a full moon. The first time Michael J changed into a werewolf it was during a full moon. For the rest of the movie though, he was a werewolf all the time. Does that mean they can choose to be that way even when it's not a full moon? That's now how it was with Oz...

I'm not buying it, Scott.


(I spelled werewolf wrong?)

Unrealistic premise.

I was watching 13 Going On 30 (really) and I have to tell you, I refuse to believe that there would be that many people at one party who know the dance from Thriller.

Yeah.

That's the part I have a hard time accepting.

Dr. What?

I accused Duckie of offering advice simply because he had nothing to post about. I threatened to do the same, and now I'm following through with that threat. (You have to follow through with threats or nobody will fear you. That one was free.)

Of course, unlike him, I give great advice. I'm like Dr. Phil, Ann Landers, and Nanny 911 rolled up into one hot package. With awesome hair.

Wait, fuck that comparison. That would be like, Dr. Phanny, or something. I don't want to be Dr. Phanny.

So, how about it, guys? Anyone want some advice?

Because I have nothing to post about.

Expanding horizons.

Ty Pennington is doing Bayer commercials now. I liked him on Trading Spaces. Then he moved to that Extreme Makeover show, the home edition. He has his own line of home furnishings at Sears. I think he may be planning to take over the world. Once room at a time.

Starting with my bedroom.

Random shower thought #1

How about that movie where Michael Keaton is reincarnated as a snowman.

That’s a little hard to believe.

I think they're getting Bruce Willis to play it in the movie.

I got some new mascara at the store the other day. It's unstoppable. This concerns me a little bit. I generally consider myself to be stronger than my make-up, but I think I'm going to watch my step around my make-up bag in the morning, just in case.

But Randal did The Wrangle.

I just finished watching Clerks 2 and I just have one thing to say. They did it backwards. They should have had the better quality film back when they were younger and thinner and had better skin. I would have appreciated the grainy black and white this time.

Guilty pleasure

99.7 FM used to be an oldies station that I liked. It's now Movin' 99.7 and it sucks. However, it's still programmed into preset number eight on my stereo so I sometimes mistakenly put it on when searching for something to listen to on my drive. I'm usually in a daze when I drive so I occasionally leave it on way past the point of decency. They play a lot of music that reminds you of the roller rink in sixth grade. This morning I heard I Wanna Sex You Up. And yeah, I left it on and listened to the whole song. Shut up, you'd do it, too.

Hey, listen to this one.

I was behind a minivan today that had an advertisement for All State Insurance on the back. Like the person driving was an agent or something. Anyway, the tail light was broken. I thought that was kind of a bad sign. I don't know about you but that doesn't leave me with a good feeling about All State Insurance. Sure, they say I'm in good hands, but how can I be sure?

I want to be this cat.

The beginning of the end.

Has anyone noticed that I totally hate blogging now?



And Jeremy, I swear to god if you comment that blogging hates me too I'm going to hunt you down.