Saturday, December 29, 2007

I want to get really drunk tonight.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Has this ever happened to you?

You're sitting at work and it's so mind-numbingly slow that you start stabbing yourself in the neck with your scissors? Then the EMTs come and they want to take you to the psych ward because they think you actually tried to commit suicide due to the holiday blues because more people commit suicide this time of year, you know, and you try to convince them that you weren't trying to kill yourself that you were just trying to pass the time faster? But they don't believe you so you have to lie and say it was a tragic accident, that your mother never told you not to run with scissors but now you know and you won't ever do it again?

No? Just me, then?

Monday, December 17, 2007


It finally hit me how this writer's strike is affecting my TV viewing. It's killed my half-hour shows. I naively thought I was immune, seeing as I have roughly 26 hours of programs stored on my Tivo. However, most of the shows I watch are an hour, and sometimes I just don't want to commit. So I've been forced to watch uh, other shows. I've watched two episodes of The Big Bang Theory. I know. I know. I left it on last week because that guy from Roseanne is on it. I don't have an excuse for this week. I will say though, that I giggled at least twice, and I think I chuckled at some point. Which is more than I got from the last two episodes of Earl.

Yeah. I totally went there.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

We're all god's creatures.

I wanted to tell you about the bee.

The poor bee died in the parking garage. It was stuck in the window. I didn't quite understand that part because it shouldn't have been difficult to get out. Basically, you fly one way you hit glass, you fly the other way and you're FREE! But he couldn't do it because he was stupid so he died.

I first saw him on a Monday. I don't know how long he had been there but he was on his way to that big flower patch in the sky already. I felt like I should step on him and put him out of his misery, but he was huge. Huge. The size of a walnut. Ok, maybe the size of a grape, but whatever, he was really big and I didn't want his guts all over my shoe. Then I saw him Wednesday, still struggling to get through the glass. He was moving a lot slower, and I felt really bad about not killing him. But again, the guts thing, you know? So I let him slowly die. Looking through the glass at freedom, not knowing how to attain it. I could have ended it quickly. But I chose not to because I didn't want bee guts on my shoe. Also, the popping noise would have creeped me out.

The end.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

I realized this morning...

My cat hasn't puked in like 3 weeks. Way to go, Fatness! Good job keeping your food inside. Of course, now that I've jinxed myself I so don't want to go home.

What's with me not having anything to say lately?

I think it's the Christmas Blues.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Man, those Kirby guys really want to clean my carpets.

What do you guys have for Christmas music?

Want to share?

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