sometimes CL gets serious

Do you ever feel like nobody really knows you? That the person other people see and the person you are inside are two completely separate entities? Maybe you're trying to be the person they expect you to be, or maybe you're trying to be the person you want to be, or maybe you're trying to be the person you used to be. Whichever of the million excuses you choose, what it comes down to is you're not that person at all. Yet you continue to lead this life of make-believe, hoping, waiting, needing something to change, knowing that it won't happen without your permission. Without you making the first step. That impossible first step. So you go on living the way you always have. No ups, no downs, nothing but the same, over and over and over. Hiding behind a smile or a joke to show how happy you are, really I'm happy, see? Can't you see my smile? Because isn't humor the cornerstone of the walls we build around ourselves?