and speaking of spiders...

I killed a huge spider this morning. It was huge, and black, and thick. I was walking by and saw it on the baseboard by the front door. I stood there and stared at it for a while, knowing I had to get it but not wanting to make a move. It was like The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly; I could imagine the camera on my eyes, squinting, then cutting to the spider’s thousand eyes, all evil. (come on, whistle the music now) So, I sprayed some Fantastic on a paper towel, which made me feel like I was trying to kidnap the spider instead of kill it. I went a little closer and stared at the spider for another minute. I just couldn’t bring myself to reach my hand out, so I sprayed it with the Fantastic and when it fell to the floor I threw the paper towel on top if it and started pounding it with the Fantastic bottle. It worked. I persevered and the little fucker died. I even dislodged a leg. Which sucked because then I had to make sure I wiped up the body and the limb.

I fucking hate spiders.