Late edition of HNT

Again, copying Darrel for Half-Nekkid Thursday, with the assistance of none other than the Head himself. Let's hear it for Head! Oh, and you guys are going to flip when you see the shirt they gave me. These kids love me. I have beer and a computer, I might stay for a while.

It's my bloggiversary

I read a post over at Jake's blog about his one year blogger anniversary. I knew mine was coming up, so I checked the old blog and found out I had started it on June 29th. I'd like to say I will do a big one year blogging extravaganza but you all know I'm way too lazy to do that. I will, however, be celebrating tonight at the Lyle Lovett show, so at some point I will raise my glass and drink to you, my blogger friends. I know I don't say this enough but I really love you guys. (and none of that faggoty internet love shit either, haha) I've met so many cool people through blogger, it really amazes me how close we've become. I mean, I'm flying to Canada tomorrow for Cat's wedding, for crying outloud! I like that I'm continually meeting new people, too. I bet if we joined forces we could totally take over the world.

Born too late

If anyone wonders why I have the hugest internet crush on Latigo Flint, just read his latest post. Can you really go wrong with this opening line:

Latigo Flint recently wrote a song that made a hobo happy.

I don't think so either.

I want him to run away with me so we can listen to Lyle Lovett and shoot people. Only people who deserve to be shot, of course. Well, he can shoot, I'll cut. We'll be like a cross between Natural Born Killers and the Boondock Saints. People will cower when we swagger into town.

He thinks I stood him up at the Taco Bell in the Mohave. I must have been at the wrong Taco Bell. I knew there wasn't enough yucca plant around there to be the right one. Hells bells.

Latigo,
Sing me a melody, sing me a blues...

Love,
Cindy-Lou

Curiouser and curiouser

I just got three books in the mail from Barnes and Noble.com, but it doesn't say who they are from. Maybe I have a secret admirer like Kracker did, only I get books instead of bad music.
The books are:

The Secret Life of Bees
A Redbird Christmas
The Kite Runner

I've never heard of any of them. But hey, now I have reading material for the plane to Cat's house! Yeah, the plane goes right to Cat's house, isn't that convenient?

To Do List

Today: Clean house, go shopping, start packing
Tomorrow: Go to work, finish packing, Lyle Lovett concert
Thursday: Conquer Canada

silliness

I just saw a car with the license plate FUDGE♥R. I think this is the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen, wouldn’t you agree? I’ve decided to adopt this as my new favorite insult. So if you say something stupid, be prepared for me to say “whatever, fudge lover”. If it’s particularly stupid, I might call you a dirty fudge lover, and if you say something really mean you’ll be a fucking fudge lover. Got it?

searches

"what to talk to your boyfriend about on the phone"
"gavin newsom divorce"
"just couldn't wait to meet with you"
"give a three year old a camera"
"buzzed bunny censored"
"porn move"
"origin of the word apple"
"well i had a dream i stood beneath an orange sky"

Ok, I get some of them. Gavin Newsom, yeah, I understand why that would pop up. Give a three year old a camera, yes. The Alexi Murdoch song makes sense, even though for the life of me I can't find the post that references Orange Sky. I know it exists. But how in god's name did my blog come up for "buzzed bunny censored" or "porn move"? I don't talk about porn! That's Grace! Wait....I did post about the Bunny Suicides, and once posted about the Two P Rule. Maybe that's it. Who really knows. I think Google has multiple personalities. Or possibly just likes to fuck with people sometimes. I can say with some certainty that I have never once posted about what to talk about with your boyfriend on the phone. Although, is anyone wants advice on that you can call me. I have some ideas.

a perfect 8.

Thank you to Journey for turning me on to Ryan Cabrera, my newest love. Can you really go wrong with big spiky hair? I think not. I like his shirt, too. Nice mellow songs, he plays his own guitar as far as I can tell from his website, and his voice is very sweet. I dragged Caden to Tower this morning to buy it. Yeah, I bought a CD. Imagine that, paying for music. What a tragedy.

Speaking of music, I hate the US Postal Service right now. Oh, that's not fair. They try their best, I suppose. I'm a very impatient person though. I need music.

By the way, check out Journey's poems, they are beautiful. And she's a local! Awesome.

Oh yeah, baby.

It happened today

I was driving along, minding my own business when a squirrel ran out in the street. Thankfully I missed the little critter, but there was a moment there when I wasn't sure if she would live or be crushed under the wheels of my killing machine I call a Honda. I was wondering who's blog would suddenly stagnate, Yoj's maybe? EJ? Was this possibly Super Squirrel flying very low to the ground? Which one of my squirrels tempted fate on Snell Avenue today?

Because I have to tell you, it's not very safe.

Better than sliced bread

Cheese is the best invention ever.

Half-Nekkid Thursday

My eyes in the dark.

This was easy, no loophole required. Darrel posted his HNT picture a day early so I didn't have to wake up Thursday morning wondering what the hell body part I was going to be showing. Darrel's eyes are totally crossed though.

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!

Oh, and if you want to see Suburbite's ass, look here. It's a mind scramble.

Tonight

Caden and I spread bubble wrap all over the kitchen floor and stomped on it. It's a very satisfying sound.

Vamanos a la playa

Grab your shit, we're going to the beach. I have sandwiches and pretzels and Capri Suns. Diet Coke in a can, yuck. Don't forget your sunblock.
Hop in, babies.


Here we are passing Lexington Reservoir.


My favorite curve.


Caden in the backseat.


Ah, blue skies.


Here's the summit, we're halfway there!


Going down. (don't take that the dirty way)


Here is the curve where Ang was so irritated with her sunglasses that she threw them over the railing. We were on the other side of the road though. Fucking litterer.


Caden sings in the car, too. Just don't sing the national anthem, he hates it. Is he really my son?


I just like this tree.


We have to take Highway 1 South.


Hey look, now we're on Highway 1!


I ate a granola bar on the way.


Here's our exit. Excited?


Here's the golf course we pass on the way. (for Kerouaced the golfer)


Oh look look, you can see the ocean!


I took a picture of the parking lot so Cat could see the palm trees.


Oh yeah, we're finally here.


This is as far as I got with the sand castle before my attention span ran out.


I took a picture of the young beauties in bikinis for you, Ty.


Don't you think this log looks like a dragon's head?

and that's it!
Our trip to the beach. Did you enjoy it as much as I did?

**UPDATE
I did not take my eyes off the road for one second while taking pictures. This is why they all suck. I'm an excellent driver and an excellent peeper.

it made me laugh

I just heard a commercial that said:
Nothing says I love you like a country song.

Please stand for our national anthem.

Oh, say can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?



Is it just me or does our national anthem get you a little choked up, too?

I have issues?

Dude, I feel like a freaking pedophile. I watched that movie A Series of Unfortunate Events last night and I totally have a crush on this kid now. He's fifteen! I need therapy?

I miss you all, see you soon.

she will be missed

I will be AFK most of the weekend, my in-laws are in town. I know, I know, but what can I do?
I will try to check in on you guys if I can. Be excellent to each other.


P.S. I love using teh hAx0r words like AFK and teh hAx0r.

P.P.S. I internet love you.

Grace, Mel, CL, TerraT, Duckie

We went out. We got drunk.
That's all I'm saying.

Dude

Some real estate agent just came to my door and asked me if my mom or dad was home.

more work conversation

Me: Colin Farrell is so hot.

Her: But he has bad eyebrows. The eyebrows alone are grounds for breaking up with him.

Me: Yeah, but I'd fuck him nice and dirty first.

Ok, how about this.

What if you had both legs AND both arms cut off, how would you do it then?
Because I told my co-worker that I would roll my little chin operated wheelchair right into the pool.

question

If both your legs got cut off and you wanted to kill yourself, how would you do it?

more music

because sometimes I just don't have anything to say.

My brand new brother-in-law made me a mix CD of some hip hop music he likes. I'm all over this hip hop shit right now. Who knew I could be so open-minded? Caden informed me that this is "boy music" and apparently not suitable for "girls and mommies". I told him I didn't want him to be sexist but he ignored me completely. He thinks girls should only listen to female singers and vice versa. Who's teaching him this crap? Duckie, if I find out this is what he's learning at your house I'm not going to let him go there anymore. Oh, who am I kidding, you could be teaching him to murder kittens and I'd still relish the time alone.

The CD includes Quannum, MF Doom, Gift of Gab, Maroon, Lyrics Born, Sage Francis, and Blackalicious. My favorite is a song called "Callin' Out", which is apparently a combination of Lyrics Born and someone else, don't ask me who. I've noticed that these guys tend to do stuff together, its hard to tell who you're listening to. This guy does something with that guy, that guy does something with the other guy, that guy over there does something with some new guy, who did something last year with that other one. It's confusing, so I don't try to figure it out, I just dance. and dance and dance and dance.

(hip hop fans, please forgive me if I've spelled these names wrong. I cannot be bothered with such details)

Music post

Check out what popped up in my in-box. (wow, my in-box has been getting all the action lately)Jason Mraz has a new CD coming out July 26th. I'm on pins and needles. Really. I know he seems silly, I actually surprised myself by liking him so much. He really has a great voice. As a good friend of mine once said, he uses his voice like an instrument. He's the boy with the voice, it's no lie. Of course, I only know of like three people who listen to him, but this may change. Soon.
Plus, he's kind of cute and he takes random pictures of himself with roosters.




Moving on...
I want to give thanks to my new best friends Steve and Darrel. These two awesome gentlemen have given me music this week. They fed my soul, you might say. Oh, and just to clarify, I didn't send the same CD to you guys, you each have your own unique Cindy-Lou mix. I don't even think there is one song in common. Ok, maybe one. Just so you know I really did put in the effort for each of you. I would hate for you to feel unimportant, thus killing any chances of future CD swaps. Because this is really fun. If anyone else would like to do this just let me know. Mix CDs rule. Also, because I know he'll get all pissy if I don't mention him, Duckie is the King of Mix CDs. With a name like Duckie....



**Oh, and if anyone has the Howie Day CD Stop All The World Now I would LOVE to set up a swap. I think I'd like that CD. I'm also big on Christian Rock, as Steve now knows.

but not really.

Plays well with others

My other brother Darrel has something called Half-Nekkid Thursdays over at his blog. The title is slightly misleading, there are never any pictures of a half naked Darrel, but I decided to play along anyway, despite my disappointment. I figure in a few months I'll be able to print the pictures from each week and create an entire Darrel. I don't know if this was his intention when he created Half-Nekkid Thursdays, but it's my intention now so he better get used to the idea. Now, since I don't have an original thought in this pretty little head of mine, I decided to just copy whatever body part he posts on Thursdays. Unfortunately, my bicep is pretty sad compared to his, but these are my rules of the game.


I swear I'm flexing.

Hi, my name is....

Who the fuck hijacked my blog and wrote all that mushy crap? I don't know who that was but if I find her I'm going to cut her for being such a pansy.

I'm meeting up with Screetus today, and I'm having a bad hair day because of the rain. That sucks for me. So we're meeting at his hotel...
Ha, just kidding, the bar in the hotel. I don't go to hotel rooms with strange men! What do you think I am, some kind of crack whore? Only for Blog Ho will I play the part of the crack whore, and only because I promised him over on Grace's haloscan. I've got an impulse problem, what can I say. Triman says not to look Screetus in the eyes, he sees that as a challenge. All those damn Canadians, they're so wild and crazy. I suppose if he turns out to be really cool I'll have to buy a Transmegacorp T-shirt and post another picture of my boobs. Any suggestions on which one I should get? (I'm expecting him to be cool, so I should be ready) The other thing that sucks is I was happy to get a chance to wander around the city with my camera but it's raining. Yeah, RAINING in California in June. What the fuck is going on with that? Must be the end of the world. (as we know it)
Good bye, everyone. It's been a good ride, hasn't it?

Here's a snippet of the conversation I had with Michelle from the Peevery this morning. It cracked me the fuck up.

Michelle says:
i used to speak spanish to my great grandpa when i was a little kid... or so i thought... i was just making spanish sounding noises
Michelle says:
he prob thought i was retarded
Just Cindy says:
I really really want to take that and post it

And now I have. My life feels strangely complete.

P.S. If you don't hear from me call the cops and tell them I was kidnapped by Screetus. Here's a picture.

P.P.S. I just saw Yankeebob's new poll. I feel like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. You know, except the whole hooker part.
(you like that? I can quote Freddie Prinze, Jr movies)

sometimes CL gets serious

Do you ever feel like nobody really knows you? That the person other people see and the person you are inside are two completely separate entities? Maybe you're trying to be the person they expect you to be, or maybe you're trying to be the person you want to be, or maybe you're trying to be the person you used to be. Whichever of the million excuses you choose, what it comes down to is you're not that person at all. Yet you continue to lead this life of make-believe, hoping, waiting, needing something to change, knowing that it won't happen without your permission. Without you making the first step. That impossible first step. So you go on living the way you always have. No ups, no downs, nothing but the same, over and over and over. Hiding behind a smile or a joke to show how happy you are, really I'm happy, see? Can't you see my smile? Because isn't humor the cornerstone of the walls we build around ourselves?

can I just post.......nothing?

Ty predicts a riot

See, here's the thing. You can't fuck with just one of us. This is a pretty tight clique. As Duckie is so fond of saying, you fight one bean you fight the whole burrito.


Atomic Blue is a cool guy. Mighty mighty. Great writer. If you insult him, you must be prepared to face the wrath of the warriors.


Ty started it. Bloggers coming to each other's defense, it really warms my heart. See how loyal Ty can be when he internet loves someone? Or whatever phrase he decided was ok to use when referencing another man.


Of course, as Ty's assassin I had to step up. Put on my game face. Don't think for one second that I won't cut you. and I'm not talking all slow and sexual-y.


Terra, get your car. We have some business to take care of. You don't even know how much Terra is dying to run over someone. She doesn't even need a very good excuse, we just have to point her in the right direction and maybe remove the beer from her hand. Nah, she can do it one-handed.


See what we did to the last guy who tried something like this? We're all hardcore and shit.


We stick together, we have each other's backs. Just keep this in mind, before you decide to attack. We're cool like that.

Internet love is quite fickle.

He internet loves me:
ty: whoa. you hot

He internet loves me not:
ty: toad the wet jacket reads words on the retarded bus with marshall mathers and bitches who clean rule

He internet loves me:
ty: you're funny again. hurray!

He internet loves me not:
ty: jajajajajajaja as your relatives in spain say

I'm still not sure if he internet loves me or not:
whoa. she is writer.
ty blue-to-tha-smith Homepage 03.30.05 - 12:53 am #


I can never be sure where I stand with Mister Ty Bluesmith. Sometimes he is internet all over my ass:

I FUCKING INTERNET HEART THE FUCK OUT OF YOU.
THAT SHIT MADE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF!!!!
ty Homepage 06.01.05 - 11:43 am #

i can't believe you remember that shit. i internet love you for that
ty Homepage 05.24.05 - 12:25 am #

she will cut you. it's totally true
ty Homepage 06.02.05 - 12:54 am #
(I consider this a mark in the win column, some of you may disagree)

i internet worship grr and cl. period. that is all.
ty 06.02.05 - 7:01 pm #

cl is so fucking cool
ty 06.02.05 - 8:30 pm #

ty: cindy you are a funny motherfucker. i internet love you
(he really liked me June 2nd)

Other days he's internet bashing me and spreading rumors:

ty: [trans - cindy has mental problems. don't lend her any money]

grrrace: i won't be able to hang with tt and cl... god help me.
ty: i know. we'd be all scared and shit sitting with our backs against the wall sipping sodas and shit.
(although we all know this is untrue. Ty would be slipping roofies in my drink and taking me back to his hotel)
(not an altogether disagreeable image)

I guess I will never know where I stand with Teebles. Unless he happens to call me some day and talk to me for an hour and a half and prove his internet love. Like that'll ever happen.

my new life motto.

Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.

It's important to have standards

It's funny what I will take offense to. I was listening to Eminem on my way home today, rocking out as usual. By the way, I am a rapping queen, guys. Seriously, I rule. I got the hand motions down and everything. But anyway, I'm cool with him smacking women, killing his wife and tossing her body in the lake, hey, you want to tell your mom to bend over and take it like a slut? I'm good with that, too. Bitch, whore, slut, faggot, trailer park girls, talk about whatever you want to talk about, Marshall, I'm here for you. Yet, the one line I find offensive is "there's no such thing, like a female with good looks who cooks and cleans". What the fuck is that all about? I laugh when he talks about his mom "fuck that shit bitch, eat a mother fucking dick, chew on a prick and lick a million mother fucking cocks per second" yet how dare he say there's no such thing as a good looking woman who cooks and cleans? I mean, shouldn't I take offense to the fact that he's probably saying that's all woman are good for? No, my crazy Cindy brain is offended because I'm a great cook, I keep my house clean, and I'd say I'm all right looking. I can even take the anti-american crap, to a point. Because I know he's kidding. Just like he'd only beat me because he loves me, right? Yet even I have my limits. Do not mock my cooking, Marshall sweetie. You've been warned. Ty knows. I'll cut you.


(I'm just playing, Marshall. You know I love you)

psst.

wanna play statcounter [google search] revelations?

1. I will miss you most of all Scarecrow.
2. mega boobs.
3. quizzes put on blogs.

[bow motherfuckers. feel my greatness. i am a search engine god.]