My cat was out pretty late last night, I thought she was never going to come home. I started thinking about how I never say nice things to her and I don't pet her as much as I should. I don't tell her she's a good cat, probably because she isn't, but still. That's not nice. It's always:
Fatty, get the hell out of my way
Fatty, shut up
Fatty, get off my lap, you're cutting off the circulation in my legs
You're such a fat fuck, Fatty, that when you walk down the street people say "God damn it, that cat's a big, fat fuck!"
No, that's not true, the last line is from a really old South Park episode. I haven't said that to her in years. It's true though, she really is a fat fuck. (warning: tangent) And if you're interested in watching the episode I'm referring to, you can see it here. It was the first time I had ever seen South Park and damn, did I laugh. I like it much better when they swear. But who doesn't, right? Swearing is funny, especially in cartoons. The friend who introduced me to this South Park (he brought it over on VHS, that's how long ago it was) was named Swinger, that was his last name, or so I believed. Turns out his last name is Singer, I found that out after about a year or so. What a dork I am.
So, back to my cat.
Nah, on second thought I'm finished with that subject. On with my day.
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- Vacation, all I ever wanted.
- You totally wish this was your birthday party.
- So what?
- I'm such a child.
- Incest is best
- Fuck off, Today!
- I don't like stupid movies, but my kid does...
- Pretty much the only funny quote from "Date Movie"...
- Are you threatening me?
- It shook my bed.
- What a man, what a man.
- She's nice, really.
- Seeing people
- Cat = Cartman
- You look like a monkey and you smell like one, too...
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