You look like a monkey and you smell like one, too.

I went to the San Francisco zoo today. It was kind of cold and very overcast and it made my hair quite curly. Fourteen degrees colder than it was in SJ, or so they say. I heard they don't have any elephants there because it's too cold in the city for them. What are they, divas? Come on, now. They're elephants, don't they have thick skin? Bastards. I totally wanted an elephant ride, too. That sounds dirty, doesn't it? Anyway, the lions were sleepy, the penguins were cute. These bears were having fun in the bathtub. We saw a couple of monkeys having sex, that was surprising. Is it wrong that I wanted to cover my son's eyes? Also surprising was the zoo itself. I remember it as bigger, somehow. Maybe because I was smaller. Anyway, it's been years and years since I've been there and it will hopefully be years and years before I go back. Last time I was there I was like twelve or something and a bird shit on my french fries. I was smarter this time and ate my french fries indoors. They sucked. But at least they didn't have bird shit on them. Am I right?