Friday, June 30, 2006

Vacation, all I ever wanted.

I'm leaving here at two and I'm not coming back until July 10th!
Fuck yeah.

I got a cake today. It said "happy birthday Cindy" and everything. So pretty.
I took a picture.

Yes, that was my way of saying "it's my birthday, so tell me happy birthday"...

I'm getting a new water heater today, too. Not for my birthday. Just because.
That's so cute.

Have a great weekend, everyone. Have fun celebrating my birthday and the birthday of this great country of ours.

Have a drink or two. But be safe. For me.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

You totally wish this was your birthday party.

I'm alive, see, here I am. Sorry I've been missing for so long, I was busy with my son's 5th birthday party. Doesn't it look like fun?

And no, I didn't go on the water slide. I decided to be old and tired.

Yeah, yeah, I know I suck.

I have nothing interesting to say right now though. Hm, let's see....

I caught a bit of Passions while I was getting a pedicure. That show is rediculous even by soap opera standards. And soap opera standards are pretty low.

Congratulations to Grrrace on the successful expellation of her beautiful daughter.

Whew, this has been tiring. I have to nap now.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

So what?

I don't care what anyone says, I totally liked Herbie: Fully Loaded, and I'm not afraid to admit it. It was funny, it was really cute, and yeah, so I got a little choked up when her dad made it out to the race to cheer her on. I'm ok with that. It was a "feel good" movie. And I'm not even saying that in the sarcastic way that I usually do, like, "Have you seen Life is Beautiful? It's a real "feel good" movie." Yeah, if by "feel good" you mean "want to slit your wrists".

And yeah, I realize she's um, lost a little weight, but still.
Lindsay Lohan is cute!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

I'm such a child.

I was talking to a customer about our equity loans and how we only do 80% loan to value. Some places will do 100% LTV, and I brought that up to her like this:

"Some places do do..."

(and here, I actually paused, said "do do. heh heh" then continued)

Some places will do 100% loan to value, etc..."

I can't believe I said that to a customer. What am I, seven years old?

(OMG, I didn't have to change the time. I started this post at exactly 3pm. That's so awesome)

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Incest is best

I saw a car with a license plate that said "Love our daughter". That's cute, right? Like, they bought their daughter a car and put that plate on it because they love her so much?

At least, that's what I hope happened, not that she got the plate herself. Nobody would really choose that plate for themselves, right?

Anyway, the funny part is this. They used the heart symbol for the word love, so it looked like it said "Harder daughter".

Which is gross. Really, really gross.

Fuck off, Today!

Today is a bad day. Come to think of it, yesterday was a bad day too.

I haven't been to work this week until today, so today is like my Monday. Yeah, I know Cat, it's your Friday. Blah blah. Shut up.

I was home with my son who was sick, so it's not even like I had a vacation. You know how when you spend too much time with someone you get sick of them and you start not getting along? That's what happened with Caden and me. Of course, as soon as I drop him off at school I get all sad.

Hey, I have an idea! How about today goes even slower!


Monday, June 19, 2006

I don't like stupid movies, but my kid does...

You know what's cool about having a kid? You can put movies like Eight Below on your Netflix list and say it's for him. And no, I won't cry when I watch it.

Even though the preview made me well up a little bit.

We also put Homeward Bound and Free Willy on the list.
Those don't make me cry either.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Pretty much the only funny quote from "Date Movie"

"Just thinking about the honeymoon makes my sack all tingly and shit."

Ok, if I have to be perfectly honest, two other lines made me laugh also. I didn't want to admit that. But I don't want to be a liar either.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Are you threatening me?

I just told my co-worker:

Don't make me blog about you.

Ha. That was the first time I've ever used that threat, and I have to tell you.
It felt good.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

It shook my bed.

We had a small earthquake this morning. I just read here that it was only 4.7 on that scale thing they use to measure quakes. I wouldn't have guessed that high, I would have thought maybe a 2 or 3 at the most. I suppose I'm just too used to them? I thought for a minute that it was just my cat jumping on the bed; she's so fat that sometimes when she jumps up it feels like an earthquake. I know, I know, she's not that fat. Whatever. You don't know.

I just want to go on record that I'm posting under pressure. I realize that this post is lame, but hey, I never claimed to be a literary genius. This is so Cat will stop worrying about me. Love you, Cat!

Saturday, June 10, 2006

What a man, what a man.

I saw X-Men 3: The Last Stand last night. By the way, that's a bunch of crap because I know that wasn't the last stand. No way they're going to lay this cash cow to rest. Anyway, they ended the movie in such a way as to leave me assuming there would be another one. I'm hoping. I'm not ready to let Wolverine go quite yet. Are you?
After we left, my friend says "oh, no, my friend told me to wait until after the credits because something happens". Thanks, asshole, now you tell me? So, if anyone knows what that is, please tell me. I can't see it again until it comes out on DVD. Not a big movie theater fan, even when we bring beers with us, which we did.

Today I'm watching Brokeback Mountain. Funny, but can you imagine two movies further apart on the manliness spectrum as X-Men and Brokeback? It made me laugh when Heath Ledger said "I'm not a queer" and Jake Gyllenhaal says "Me neither". I'm like, you just had your dick in his ass, how does that make you not gay?

I saw the preview for Superman Returns, too. I think any time you see a trailer at the movie theater it's more exciting. At any rate, a movie I formerly couldn't care less about is now on my must see list. That's funny, like I have a must see list. I also saw a trailer for a movie with Dwight from The Office in it. I love Dwight. (and if you haven't seen them, I watched all the fake The More You Know commercials from The Office, and they're pretty funny. I like this one)

Ryan started the fire...

Friday, June 09, 2006

She's nice, really.

On 6/9/06, Terra T wrote:
why can't you post something about my liver failing? that's so much cooler

On 6/9/06, Cindy wrote:
"Terra's liver is failing because she has ringworm and scabies"

On 6/9/06, Terra T wrote:
i'm going to stab you in the face one day... perhaps tomorrow

On 6/9/06, Cindy wrote:
don't mess up my beautiful face.

On 6/9/06, Terra T wrote:
true, it would be sad. but on the other hand maybe you need to learn a lesson.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Seeing people

I saw a little girl, maybe seven years old, at the park the other day. She was wearing a pink mini-skirt and a t-shirt that said Buy Me Something. She was walking away to talk on her lime green cell phone and carrying a sparkly purse. Is anyone else disturbed by this?

I'll have to make sure my daughter is a tomboy.

Also, a little while ago I head a man talking behind me, he sounded exactly like Ray Romano. I turned to look at him and he was this tiny little Phillipino guy. It was strange because in my head he was Ray Romano. It's hard to un-see something you've already decided is true.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Cat = Cartman

My cat was out pretty late last night, I thought she was never going to come home. I started thinking about how I never say nice things to her and I don't pet her as much as I should. I don't tell her she's a good cat, probably because she isn't, but still. That's not nice. It's always:

Fatty, get the hell out of my way
Fatty, shut up
Fatty, get off my lap, you're cutting off the circulation in my legs
You're such a fat fuck, Fatty, that when you walk down the street people say "God damn it, that cat's a big, fat fuck!"

No, that's not true, the last line is from a really old South Park episode. I haven't said that to her in years. It's true though, she really is a fat fuck. (warning: tangent) And if you're interested in watching the episode I'm referring to, you can see it here. It was the first time I had ever seen South Park and damn, did I laugh. I like it much better when they swear. But who doesn't, right? Swearing is funny, especially in cartoons. The friend who introduced me to this South Park (he brought it over on VHS, that's how long ago it was) was named Swinger, that was his last name, or so I believed. Turns out his last name is Singer, I found that out after about a year or so. What a dork I am.

So, back to my cat.

Nah, on second thought I'm finished with that subject. On with my day.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

You look like a monkey and you smell like one, too.

I went to the San Francisco zoo today. It was kind of cold and very overcast and it made my hair quite curly. Fourteen degrees colder than it was in SJ, or so they say. I heard they don't have any elephants there because it's too cold in the city for them. What are they, divas? Come on, now. They're elephants, don't they have thick skin? Bastards. I totally wanted an elephant ride, too. That sounds dirty, doesn't it? Anyway, the lions were sleepy, the penguins were cute. These bears were having fun in the bathtub. We saw a couple of monkeys having sex, that was surprising. Is it wrong that I wanted to cover my son's eyes? Also surprising was the zoo itself. I remember it as bigger, somehow. Maybe because I was smaller. Anyway, it's been years and years since I've been there and it will hopefully be years and years before I go back. Last time I was there I was like twelve or something and a bird shit on my french fries. I was smarter this time and ate my french fries indoors. They sucked. But at least they didn't have bird shit on them. Am I right?

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