WEIRD.

Ok, this old guy just came into the credit union to talk to me. Yes, apparently just to talk to me. He didn't actually belong to this credit union, he belonged to the one downstairs but he wanted to invite me (or whichever lucky person was here at the time) to the Polish Festival this weekend. Not that I have anything against the Polish, mind you, even if they keep threatening to tow my car. I'm still not going to the Polish Festival. Even if it is near my house.
Anyway, this man comes in and sits down at the counter with his potted plant beside him. (I wondered if the plant has a name) He has a South African accent, I found out that it was in fact South African when he told me he grew up there and had snakes and chameleons for pets. He also told me about the baby piglets that he got a few years ago and named after his kids. (Brucey and Cathy, I believe) He had to keep them in the bathtub because they were incontinent. (cool) He wanted his daughter to take them but her husband said no. He thought they would be perfect pets for his five year old grandson. (Wyatt) His friend had to take them to the animal shelter. His friend's daughter has annorexia nervosa because she grew up with a very dominate father. (um, ok) He thinks I should go to the Polish Festival this weekend and be in his play because I'm "dashingly attractive". I could be the herione. He asked me if I had heard about the bank robbery in Danville where the sheriff killed the robber. He thought that was a little scary since he'd always had a fantasy about robbing a bank. (scary) He noticed that I was alone here, he mentioned it quite a few times as a matter of fact, and said it's too bad I'm married or he'd suggest that we close the credit union and take off to Hawaii together. (scarier) Although, maybe it's a good thing I'm married because that meant he could tie me up and hold me for ransom. (scariest) He's sure my husband would pay the ransom because I'm so pretty. He thought I should make sure to tell my husband what a lucky man he is. I should go home and tell him tonight. (I will) He told me all about his friend who's an actor and also happens to be an alcoholic. He asked about the other employees (why won't someone come back!) and asked if they were all as pretty as I am. As he was (finally) leaving he said he was so happy he decided to come upstairs. Yeah, me too, buddy.

This is all completely true and I have not exaggerated at all.
What the hell is the matter with people?