Rid me.

I went to Kohls today. Please, if I ever say I'm going there again, shoot me. I thought it was going to be fine but I had to wait seventeen years to get to a cashier and then, get this, she hands me a pen that she pulled OUT OF HER HAIR to sign the credit card receipt. Did you hear me? SHE PULLED THE PEN OUT OF HER HAIR!
Sometimes I wish I wasn't so polite.
I wanted to use my own pen.
I didn't want to be rude.
So I used her lice infested pen.
Fuck manners.
Next time
oh who am I kidding, I'll use it again next time, too.
I'm such a pussy.

Happy Monday?

I opened my notary book today and found this on the back page. So I printed this and put it in a plastic badge holder that was sent to us from a marketing place, and clipped it to her in-box. My job is fun.

and oh how I love Warrick.

Pimp my Xbox

I went to Best Buy today. Did you know they have totallyawesomerad faceplates for the Xbox? You can get silver or flames or even a fake wood cover. I imagine this makes you much cooler in your group of gamer friends. Because isn't that what we all aspire to? To be the coolest one in a group of gamers?

(no offense, guys. I tease with love)

The other thing I noticed is the TV department. The big screens and expensive plasmas are all in this special section. They have those leather couches and end tables; you know what I'm talking about. The velvet ropes separate the common folk from the elite. I believe I saw a couple of bouncers in tan slacks and blue shirts. Telling me with their eyes "I saw you drive up in that Honda, don't even think about coming in here". It's like the high roller section in Vegas casinos.

And to top it all off, they didn't even have what I went there to get.
To quote Cartman:
Screw you guys, I'm going home.

Bunch of savages in this mall

Who's going shopping today?
Because I'm certainly not, are you crazy?

Adding to my misery: It's raining.

P.S. Ok, technically it's not raining, but it rained yesterday and it's cloudy and windy leading me to believe it will rain at some point today.

Ok, I take it back. Not everything sucks today.

The annual Beatles Family Tree A to Z starts Wednesday at noon, on the classic rock experience, 98.5 KFOX.

They've been playing nothing but Beatles.

Why does everything suck today?

bad suggestions

I just did a search for Into The West but accidentally typed Into Teh West. I know, I'm so haxor. Anyway, it suggested this:

did you mean into tea wet?

What the fuck do they mean by that?

I've got a fever

and cowbell isn't doing a fucking thing for it.

Thanks a lot, Ty, for getting me sick. You suck. I think this is the second time you've done this to me. Oh well, at least you didn't knock me up.

I've added a few links, deleted a few links, updated some that have changed. Anyone want in? I'm opening the doors.

Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.

Yeah. Happy Monday.

What Your Underwear Says About You

When you're bad, you're very bad. And when you're good, you're still trouble! You're sexy, in that pinup girl, tease sort of way.

The Underwear Oracle

Funny goes a long way with me

Um, so does hotness and muscles. Dane Cook is a genius. I want to go drinking with him. And possibly bear his children.

Clip 1

Clip 2





Listen, and laugh. Because couldn't we all use a little laughter in our lives today? Personally, I need to laugh all I can now because I'm going to a church later for a baptism and the odds are very good that I will burst into flames the instant I set foot inside.

Wish me luck.

Blogger vs Myspace

Indian Summer HNT

Want to hear something sad?

I'm losing my crush on Tom Welling. I was watching last week's Smallville and a truck was (allegedly) trying to run him off the road and he was all scared. Superman....scared?

What the hell

Toughen up, pansy. You're the man of steel. Act like it.

ha.

God damn, I love California.


Caden and I went to the beach today.











That's right, the beach.
In November.

Ha.

God damn, I love Family Guy.

Stupid Dean Koontz

My book is frustrating the hell out of me. I hate knowing what would be good for the characters and watching them do the opposite. I'm reading and talking to the book, as if I might actually change the outcome. "No, don't do that!" "Just tell him what's going on, he can help you." "What the fuck, you stupid mother fucking kid!"

I get involved in my books. I know. It's a problem.

I had to buy this book at the airport because I lost my book on the way there. I left it on the plane or in the bathroom at the airport, maybe. Who knows. All I know is I was halfway through All The Pretty Horses and I lost it. I hate having to buy the same book twice. I also hate that every time I write airport I accidentally write airpost and have to go back and correct it.

It's a shocker. (ha)

Who knew I was a hockey fan? I certainly didn't. Yet there I was at the Sharks game, cheering and yelling (and sticking my fingers in my mouth to whistle really loud) as if I actually cared who won. (The Sharks lost, by the way, but they lost in a shoot out, which I just don't think is real.) I think hockey must be the one sport that moves fast enough to keep my attention. Plus, we saw blood. (A word of advice, if Terra is ever mad at you don't go near ice with her. She noticed how easily the blood was cleaned up and it made her smile.) I guess it took a Canadian to turn me into a hockey fan. How cliche.

We drank a lot of beer and I learned a few eyebrow-raising facts about some fellow bloggers. Ew, I just killed a bug with my thumb. I need to go wash my hands.

Good night.

How many shopping days left?

The Christmas season is upon us. You know how I know? In three days I received seven catalogs in the mail. I will order stuff from Harry and David, most likely order from the Bombay Company, possibly from the Pottery Barn, but I'm pretty sure I won't be purchasing Christmas gifts from the Victoria's Secret catalog. I feel sorry for the mailpersons (see how PC I can be?), their bags must be so heavy this time of year. Maybe I'll offer him some Gatorade.

Coffee and peanut M&M's for breakfast?
I say yes.

I'm out.

I'm leaving on a jet plane. I don't know when I'll be back again. Ok, I do know, I'll be back Thursday. See you all later, have a good week, and please, love each other very much. Do it for me.

Stolen from Cat. Nothing to say today.

Your Personality Profile

You are dependable, popular, and observant. Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness. In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do. You are unique, creative, and expressive. You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while. And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Yeah. I was drunk.

I watched "the video" from the Halloween party on Saturday night. I feel much better prepared to talk about the party now. Before I just wasn't completely sure what exactly happened the entire night.

Now I know.
I kind of wish I didn't.
But I do.

Excuse me.








Things I learned watching the video from last Saturday night:

1. We talk LOUD.
2. I wave my hands around an awful lot when I drink.
3. Terra's mouth says one thing and her hands say the opposite.
4. My sister repeats herself a lot.
5. My brother in law is a shit talker when he's drunk.
6. I have a low self image.
7. I also have no balance.
8. Terra sees bunnies.
9. I cannot last more than three minutes in one conversation when I'm drunk.
10. We are fucking funny as hell. I swear.

Dance Party HNT

Three half-nekkid people in this one. I'm trying to make up for skipping HNT for so long? Or maybe not. Maybe I'm putting this up now because I have nothing to talk about and a picture says 1000 words. I believe this one says "dork" a thousand times, over and over again. I do wish you could see my shirt though. It says "WWJD for a Klondike Bar?"

Do you recognize the famous blogger on the right?

What the fuck.

I want my TV

I'm watching Smallville right now. I haven't been able to watch it because I can't watch it in front of the kiddo. Apparently I have to be careful about what I watch in front of Caden now. This episode is about vampires. I have to admit that Lana is pretty hot as a vampire. It's too bad that Clark can't turn into a vampire though. That would give me about a year's supply of MM in itself. I just find it very interesting that they have Spike from Buffy guest starring on Smallville for a while and all of the sudden they have an episode about vampires. I don't know how I feel about Spike having dark hair and no accent. It's disconcerting. It's amusing to hear Spike say "Clark, there's no such thing as vampires" though.

Can you tell I'm bored and have nothing to write about?