Rid me.

I went to Kohls today. Please, if I ever say I'm going there again, shoot me. I thought it was going to be fine but I had to wait seventeen years to get to a cashier and then, get this, she hands me a pen that she pulled OUT OF HER HAIR to sign the credit card receipt. Did you hear me? SHE PULLED THE PEN OUT OF HER HAIR!
Sometimes I wish I wasn't so polite.
I wanted to use my own pen.
I didn't want to be rude.
So I used her lice infested pen.
Fuck manners.
Next time
oh who am I kidding, I'll use it again next time, too.
I'm such a pussy.