I'm going to tell you something now, I don't want you to be shocked or scared; I don't want you to think less of me. You see, I've been wearing the same pair of jeans all week. I know, I'm disgusting. I know this. But listen, it's not my fault! I haven't been able to get to my jeans. Oh, you think this is a feeble excuse? Whatever.
Right now, my armoire is up against the back of my dresser in the middle of my bedroom. I keep my jeans in the drawer at the bottom of the armoire. I'd have to be much stronger than I actually am to be able to move that shit out of the way. You all know I can barely open the drawer to get the jeans, much less move a dresser. Yes, I really am that weak. I have so little muscle that I belong in one of Triman's cartoons. I've been lucky to be able to get any clean underwear and socks out of the dresser! God forbid I have to put a pair of socks back on that I've already worn, right? Then they're all stretched out and baggy. Makes me ill just thinking about it. I haven't been too upset about the jeans thing because I keep thinking that the next day will be the last. Oh, the painters are coming Monday, I should be able to get my stuff out Tuesday. No, they're coming back Tuesday, ok well I can wait until Wednesday. Ok, they didn't quite finish but they're not coming until Thursday. All of the sudden I realized I'm going to be wearing these jeans forever. (I wish I could put Forever in Blue Jeans on my music thing, but I recently used it, damn)
Anyway, I just felt I should get that off my chest. I feel better now.
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