If

James Stewart
May 20, 1908 - July 2, 1997





If I had a time machine I would travel back to the 1930's and hang out at Hearst Castle with Jimmy Stewart. I would make him my boyfriend. We would eat in the big dining room with the beautiful wooden ceiling. We would watch movies in the theater and hold hands. Maybe watch one of his movies, wouldn't that be cool? The earliest one I've actually seen is You Can't Take It With You, which came out in 1938, so the earlier ones would be new to me. Good thing, too, since I'm coming from the future, it would be weird for me to talk about It's A Wonderful Life. I might even try tennis, if he wanted to play. We would swing dance and I think we would drink gin.


I would swim in this pool with my new boyfriend. Can you imagine floating on your back staring up at that gorgeous California sky? I would wear one of those 1930's bathing suits, those things are so cool. Charlie Chaplin wouldn't swim though, I think he'd be sitting on a lounge chair smoking a cigar with a drink in his hand. Whiskey, I bet. He probably wouldn't play tennis either, he doesn't strike me as the athletic type. Plus, he's probably trip and fall.

At night, after everyone else went to bed, Jimmy and I would sneak into the indoor pool. We would go skinny dipping in the dark. The lights reflect on the gold in the tiles. Everything echos in that pool room, so we would have to be very quiet. After playing Marco Polo for a while we would go back to the Casa Del Monte guesthouse, have a nightcap, and play checkers. Yup, checkers. Maybe Monopoly, it came out in 1935. Then we would put on our long nightgowns and go to bed. Get your minds out of the gutter, I can't have sex with Jimmy Stewart! That would just be wrong.