So you want to be a writer?

A friend of mine gave me a bunch of books a few weeks ago. I was completely out of reading material so I snatched them up faster than a prostitute takes money off the nightstand. Having finished all of the interesting books in the bag I was left with three books by Nora Roberts. I am a book whore, and I will read most anything I can get my hands on, even Nora Roberts as a last resort. These books are the most rediculous, trite, banal pieces of work I have ever read. And I've read a lot of books. She uses the same formula in every book, at least the three I read. Yeah, I read them all, what can I say. I already admitted I'm a book whore, and trashy smut is better than no smut at all. I mean no book at all. If you would like to be a New York Times bestselling author, all you have to do is follow her method, which I will describe here:

Beautiful Girl has a predisposed notion about Powerful Man. They meet for the first time, he knows who she is, she does not know he is PM whom she dislikes. They share a kiss.

BG: Oh, you scoundrel, you deliberately took advantage!
PM: You're so beautiful when you're angry.

BG works for PM. PM exploits the position of power. They kiss a few more times. BG falls in love with PM. PM loves himself but wants to have sex with BG.

BG: I have to stop loving him because he can never love me; we're from different worlds.
PM: Look at me, I'm a total asshole. But how handsome I am...

BG throws herself into her work trying to forget PM. PM finally does a magnanimous act, proving he isn't a complete asshole.

BG: Oh, how I love you!
PM: Oh, how I love me, I mean you!

BG and PM live happily ever after.

Two final notes: BG must be a virgin and PM must be at least 10 years older than BG.

The End.