Sunday, November 07, 2004

Blue skidoo, we can too!


Hi, I'm Steve, and I'm sexy.

Seriously, is it wrong to have fantasies about a character on your kid's favorite TV show? Should this be embarrassing? I don't know what it is about Steve that starts me thinking. Is it his big brown eyes? Is it his goofy manner? You know, goofy goes a long way with me. I feel a little guilty, watching TV with my son and having fantasies about Steve. I can live with the guilt though. I'm thinking: Come on, Steve. You and I can cuddle in your Thinking Chair and try to solve Cindy's Clues. Now, what can Cindy want to do with:


a bed


a condom


and a pair of handcuffs?

Let's think, Steve. Oh! I know! Sex! We just figured out Cindy's Clues! Good boy, Steve. Now let's get you out of those khakis and that green striped shirt...

This guy has gone on to become an indie rock star. I would bet money on the fact that a large portion of his fans are moms. Moms who couldn't accept the fact that Steve was leaving Blues Clues. These poor women spend their days knee deep in toys, diapers, and macaroni. The only high point was watching Blues Clues and dreaming of hot sex with Steve. When he left, they were forced to start fantasizing about Greg from the Wiggles. But we all know that Greg is a poor substitute for Steve. Nobody who dances like that could possibly be good in bed. With a woman, anyway. You know that at the end of the day, Steve is so tired of playing the good guy, the nice guy. He's probably very dirty in bed, just to reinforce his manhood. No, Steve is still the only one for me. I certainly don't have these feelings for the new guy, Joe. It's a good thing they still play re-runs, so I can get my fix. Oh, Steve, Steve. I thought you always said we can do anything that we want to do? Does that not include hot monkey sex on the Thinking Chair? Can't I play with your Handy-Dandy....uh, notebook?

Was it really time for so long?


Rocker Steve

Cute Steve

15 comments:

cat said...

Holy fuck! You just made my freaking night! ROTFLOL!!! You have no idea! I am tearing up. I love you, CL!

I agree, Steve is cute in that geeky way. I have to say I am little obsessed with that show. I love Blue. Only now that the New Guy is there it's nowhere near as good.

I needed a laugh today and boy did I get one. Thank you! It was the three clues thing that nearly killed me. Bwahahahaha! *gasp* I can't breathe.

I am now officially your Number One Fan.

Benjamin said...

I could've sworn I read somewhere that the new guy was his brother. Maybe not...

But on a more important note: that was hilarious.

Prus said...

hmmm.......funny...yet disturbing...yet funny

Yankeebob said...

CL, you are awesome! I guess we all can identify with having secret fantasies. I think you are probably right about Steve being tired of playing the good guy by the end of the day. He'd probably wear you out.

SJ said...

Probably the funniest thing I have read in ages. But I bet Greg from the Wiggles would rock your world ;)

Lou Lou said...

(i've come to visit via Dynagirl!)
"you and me and my dog blue we can do anything that you want to do "
now that has a whole new meaning for me after reading this post.
it's a really pervy song isn't it!

JK said...

Cindy, you are a naughty girl. I can't believe you have fantasies about the Blues Clues guy. The fact that you do this while your child is only a couple foot steps away.... shameless.

I still visit your blog every other day. I just choose to admire from a distance.

cat said...

Ian - those Wiggles are scary and creepy look like pedophiles!! Or gay. Or both. Either way, good god, man! She has better taste than that! :)

grace said...

CL, you are a very naughty girl... we'll have to figure out a way to contact steve and have him punish you :P

this is the first time i wished that i watched children's tv so i could figure out wtf you're talking about!!!

Quyen said...

Yeah, Steve is a hot... hehe I'm glad someone else thinks so :P And you know what they say about tall, skinny, white guys... ;)

Roy Hobbs said...

That whole post scares the hell out of me. Steve. Oh my. Now CL I can understand the guys from Nip/Tuck, but Steve? I realize he reads a script, but it is damn annoying.

Cindy-Lou said...

Wissn, how dare you!

Anonymous said...

Okay, I'm coming out of retirement for this one.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. It's wrong on so many levels. First, you shouldn't be watching anymore Blue's Clues with your son. He might start to think Steve is hot too. Secondly, you have way too much free time on your hands to be posting clues like that. Thirdly, you are funny. But not it the good way. You are funny in the "hide the scissors when Cindy is around" kinda' way.

So with that said, I've always had a secret fantasy about Loonette from the Big Comfy Couch. I would bang her like a screen door in a hurricane. I get all hot when she does her stretching routine. She is very flexible. Me likey! I'm afraid that if I was knocking it with Loonette on her Big Comfy Couch that those friggin' dust bunnies would be all buggin' though, so I guess it will never happen.

There is just something about that big red nose that gets me way hot!

Celti said...

I am later than poo to this party, but wanted to comment anyway. Although I always found Steve kinda cute in a geeky sort of way, I think his replacement, Joe (aka Donavan) is way hot. I love watching blue's clues with my son just so I can lust after joe! LOL Don't feel bad...

amelia said...

hi it's amelia you stole my quiz thing (i don't care, i stole it from somewhere...) from my blog ages ago. anywho i thought this post was really funny, but apparantly (so i've heard) this guy is actually dead. there is a new blues clues guy on the episodes. i heard it was suicide. here's to me for putting a morbid edge on the blog.

www.shmealsismyname.blogspot.com

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