Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Call the CDF

So I finally caved and went to the doctor. My doctor is kind of a hippie and she's very stingy with the antibiotics. She acts like they're coming right out of her pocket. She has her "theories" about over-medicating. Whatever.
I'm kidding, I agree that people shouldn't take antibiotics for every little thing. But does she have to act like I'm stealing from her own personal stash?
Anyway, she thinks it's pneumonia. I got a shot in the arm, two breathing treatments because the first one didn't work, antibiotics (hallelujah), prescriptions for Advair, albuterol, and prednesone, and I had to go to the hospital for a chest x-ray. Holy shit, huh? The weird thing is I don't even feel that bad, I just cough up a lung every now and then. Especially when I laugh. Which ironically, isn't funny.
Did you know that when you have a chest x-ray they make you put little stickers on your nipples? The stickers have little metal balls that show up as white dots in the x-ray, that way if they do see your nipple in the x-ray they don't call you and say "we're very sorry, you have cancer". I don't think the x-ray tech was very comfortable saying the word nipple to me, but he was sure as hell comfortable manipulating my body for the "perfect" position. Or maybe this was a special x-ray tech, like Joey and his tailor. Oh, and he said I have nice, big.....lungs.
Really. Apparently some people have small lungs and some people have big ones. I think it's a good thing, right? I don't have to join the carnival quite yet?
So I will be home tomorrow. No work for me. Not because I don't feel up to going but because nobody wants me there. What, you get an infectuous disease and all of the sudden nobody wants to be around you? Sheesh.

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